SubStance
by Possum Overlord
Summary: Well, Im pretty new here, just testing out random ideas with this. Post apocalyptic theme set in the OTH universe.


First fic ever, so be easy on me. Just testing around with my writing skills. The first half isn't from the hedgies point of view, so don't think I'm crazy. So here we go! NOTE: Everyone else says this, so I don't own over the hedge.

_You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy._

-Charles Manson

July 17-7:34 AM

The usually cloudless sky that hung over suburbia was now polluted with grey clouds and gas fumes. The neighborhood below it that was once called El rancho Camelot estates was in ruins, its former beauty ripped from it due to the firebomb that had landed a week earlier. A small convoy of BGTT trucks made their way down the street, searching for anything of value before they left. A conscript named Tryon Park was in one of the trucks, preparing to leave the safeness of the vehicle with his fellow unit members. This is where it begins.

Tryon felt the BGTT hit another speed bump. Or maybe it was something else. Either way, he didn't want to know what. The gloominess of the interior was only lit by a small red light, barely illuminating the other 9 troopers. What was unusual was that they were all no older than 15 years of age. The Empire had wanted any able persons to fight, and the youngest were the fittest.

"Reaching LC in one minute" informed the driver from the speaker.

Tryon wondered what was so special about this place. It was just another chunk of suburbia, identical houses with identically minded people. He would have asked his captain, but now wasn't a good time.

"Alright boys, report back in 12."

The back doors of the transport opened up, filling the truck with gloomy light. Tryon clipped on his mask so he wouldn't inhale whatever toxins were in the air. One by one, the troopers piled out of the truck. When Tryon got out, he felt like it was raining ash.

"So what are we here for?" asked one of the conscripts.

"Just inspect the houses and surrounding area. If you find anything, _anything,_ even a pet cat call me."

The conscripts knew better than to ask questions, and started to fan out.

"Park!"

"Yes sir?"

"You come look behind that hedge with me."

"Yes sir".

July 10-10:24 AM

RJ the raccoon woke with a start. He had accidentally fallen asleep with an empty can of spuddies on his chest. He looked over and saw his adopted family, unloading a wagon of food taken from the humans. He got up and walked down to them.

"Hey everyone! How's it going?"

"You could have helped us you know" said Verne the turtle unhappily.

"Sorry about that, must of dozed off" He grabbed a box of cookies and hefted them to the log. On the way he heard Hammy gasp.

"Sorry Hammy, no cookies right now."

He expected immediate complaining, but when he didn't he turned and saw Hammy frozen still, pointing at the sky and trembling.

RJ walked over to see what was scaring him. "Hammy? What's wrong?" But when he looked up he understood.

Approaching in the sky were several bulky helicopters. They were unlike anything the animals had ever seen. RJ had a bad feeling about them. Coincidentally, he heard Verne say something about his tail tingling. He never heard Verne finish though, because at that moment there was a bright orange flash, and suddenly the sky turned red.

"Verne! Get everyone into the log!" screamed RJ over the roar of the explosion. Burning material was quickly vaporizing suburbia into nothingness, the cloud of death moving toward the hedge. RJ was running into the log when the sheer heat made him pass out.

July 17-7:37 AM

Tryon hacked the crusty remains of the tall hedge away with his S-M8 Assault rifle. When he got to the other side he saw more black charcoal than grey ash. The trees and grass were burned badly, but not destroyed. The hedge saved them in a way, even though they were long dead.

Tryon and the captain walked out to the middle of the clearing. There was a muddy pond near them, and a moldy log that wasn't burnt to badly. The captain nudged the log with his chainsword and jumped when he heard something scurry inside.

"Park! Get the net!"

Tryon had been busy staring at what looked like the remains of a wagon, but dismissed it and pulled out a trap net.

"What are we doing, sir?"

" Just shut up and capture whatever is in there! That's an order from high command, to capture any small animals, so hurry up!"

Tryon clipped the net to one end of the log and asked his captain to lift up the other end. At first, burnt trash fell out, but then a Raccoon, Turtle, two opossums, a porcupine family and a skunk tumbled after.

"Jackpot!" cheered the captain. "Now we just need to-OW!"

Tryon looked over and saw that some house cat was attacking his captain's leg. Without letting go of the log, he kicked it away. The captain picked it up and dropped it through the log and into the squirming net of animals.

"gimme that" muttered the captain, pulling the net off and tying it up. "Let's get back to the truck, we've got precious cargo to deliver"


End file.
